Sex, Sushi & Body Confidence

Good Morning Beautiful,

Today is Saturday, and it’s officially the weekend. Let me fill you in on my Friday night. I invited a few friends over for a girl’s night of food, wine and binge watching Sex & the City. Typical? Yes, very much so, but let’s stay focused. We started with Season 1, and by episode 2 I was laughing at the irony. Here we were matching the scene in front of us all the way down to the messy buns and post hell week chill clothes. We were sitting around the table discussing men…and women for some of us. The plot of this episode was centered around models, beauty and, “giraffes with big breasts.” Looking around we all burst out laughing. I might be tall, but I don’t consider a 36C to be so big, so I think I’m safe. All of us are tall for women ( 5’8” to about 6’0”), and we’ve all heard the oh so famous phrase.. “You’re so tall….You should be a model.”

This is when the topic hit me…What’s more important? Size or health?

The “industry” has taken a hold on us all at some point. Myself included. Too small, too tall, fat, skinny… WHO CARES?! I am not always happy with all the newest trends, but I am happy with one that should already be a natural state of mind.

Body Confidence

Does being a size 4 make you healthy? No.

Does being a size 18 make you unhealthy? No.

All sizes are circumstantial. When I was a size 8, I was the unhealthiest I had been in my entire life. I was bouncing back and forth between Starbucks and an eating disorder. Yes, I am one of many who have struggled.


It took me 25 years to be comfortable with my 5’10 1/4”, size 14/16 body, and I am the happiest that I have EVER been!

Still struggling? Need a boost?

Here are a few body confidence tips, do’s and don’ts to help put some things into perspective:

1. Do: Fight the old tale. Shoot the messenger!

Have you ever had someone say something negative to you about your body, weight or size that completely ruined your mood? Have you had a thought in the changing room that made you put down the most amazing outfit? Shoot the messenger!!

Disclaimer: I’m not asking you to go out and kill anybody!

If someone tells you something negative about your body…SPEAK UP! For every negative thing you hear, speak another positive. For every reason you think you shouldn’t wear that outfit… Think of every reason why you should. Stop that negative feeling before it starts, and be your own self love publicist.

Don’t: Cuss out your doctor for giving you health advice.

2. Do: Get naked!

Spend more time in your birthday suit! Prance around the house, and sleep naked more often. You will learn more about your body, and there’s nothing better than being comfortable in your own skin. Did you know only 17% of Americans sleep completely naked? Shocker to me! Let’s add to the number shall we?

Don’t: Walk around naked if you have roommates! I would hate for you to walk out into a living room full of people. AWKWARD!!

3. Do: Spend time in the mirror

Think about this. Majority of the time when we look in the mirror it’s because we are looking for something to be wrong. Is my hair ok? Is there something in my teeth? Let me fix my lipstick…The list goes on. When is the last time you sat in the mirror to think about all the things that are right about you? No makeup, no lashes,nothing extra…Just you. Every morning or every night find something about yourself that you love. Look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are.

Don’t: Do this in a public place or while driving! We have the tendency to get caught up in our looks.

4. Smile for goodness sake!

Don’t? There isn’t one. Smile for any and every reason. The more you smile, the better you will feel!


Naughty Bits: Will They Be Good In Bed?

This question has crossed the mind of every sexually active person…”I wonder if they are good in bed”…”I wonder if he/she can do   insert naughty sexual favor  well.” Of course you can’t judge how a person is in bed at first glance, and hopefully you’re not reading this in attempt to figure out your new Tinder boo after 30 minutes of texting.

Let’s start off with pre-sex judgement.

Think about the last time you were really into someone. Before you knew how they were in the sack…What did you think about their skills in the bedroom? Good? Bad? or … “We aren’t going to make it that far.”

Hopefully the answer is good, and if so….What made you think they were good in bed? I know my personal beliefs (which I will share later), but I wanted to know the thoughts of a few others…and if you ask…you generally shall receive.

Sexy Sheets

I asked the wonderful people of social media an initial question…

“Do you prejudge your partner’s skills before sex?”

I got some interesting answers…and some a little kinkier than expected.

♀ | 1Definitely.

Self: Do you keep your expectations high or low, and why?

♀ | 1: Depends all on the vibe from the person. I can typically judge beforehand whether or not that mental/emotional connection will be there.

♀ | 2: Uummmm, well …….Yeah & No. Yeah cause I don’t like sexual surprises a.k.a I’d rather NOT be disappointed, but I’m pretty open to having to teach lmao!

♀ | 3: Yup lmao!

Self: Do you go in with low or high expectations?

♀ | 3: Depends on how buddy look and dress.

♂ | 1: You never know how good anyone is in the sack until you get there…People you think are shy normally could turn into freaks in the bed. People you think are outgoing could have sex like a fish on land. It’s a guessing game to be honest. I’ve had a wide range.

♀ | 4: I guess it really depends on the person.

Self: What would make you think a person is good in bed?

♀ | 4: Confidence.. But not too much. Cockiness to me is a sign of bad sex.

♀ | 5: No, prejudging often causes you to set yourself up for disappointment.

Self:  If the person is bad in bed is that a deal breaker for you?

♀ | 5: Depends because some people are teachable while others are simply just a no go. Sex is more than just laying in bed with someone, it’s more passionate than anything. You have to connect on a sexual level mentally and physically.

♂ | 2: Hell naw. Cuz every girl is different and you would be surprised and who got it and who don’t.

Self: What’s a deal breaker for you?

♂ | 2: Well I’m not big on standards personally. Petty, bad breath, and ugly feet are absolute no’s.

♂ | 3: Yep lol

Self: What makes you think a person would be good in bed? Signs?

| 3: Confidence, the way she kisses, the details she gives in a dirty text message…Lol

♀ | 6: I always expect them to be mediocre. However I’ve got credentials and references for my skills, so I don’t care if they judge before experiencing or not. Matter of time before they see the truth.

| 4: It might cross my mind, especially if the girl is really hot, but if she tells me she likes 50 Shades, or she likes some other kinky $&%* that’s a big NO for me. I’m not into that. I always judge the outwardly kinky ones as big teasers before I think they are good in bed.

Self: What is the weirdest thing a girl has ever told you she was into?

| 4: Last year I had a chick tell me that she liked to put spray whip in her cooch before oral.

Disclaimer: LADIES!! Don’t ever…EVER… E V E R  put any sugar/food based item near your NAUGHTY BITS! A balanced diet and lots of water will do your body just fine!

My answer ♀ |  Just like the majority of people, I will think about how the person I am into is in bed. Now let me be clear on something. THAT IS NOT MY INITIAL THOUGHT. If a person is interested in me for just sex and vice versa that’s a complete no go. I have to have an emotional connection with a person point blank. Now my thought process goes in a particular order…Sexual History is always first. I am not trying to catch anything! Second is Sexual Style…Are they romantic in bed? Are they lazy? Are they kinky?  Next are Limitations…I am not into the Dom and Sub 50 Shades Style sex. If you come at me with a riding crop and some rope two things will happen. I will either never speak to you again or we will fight! Lastly, my most frequent thought will be about Frequency. Are they a very sexual person that likes to have sex ALL OF THE TIME or are they rainy day love makers. These are questions that need answers people!

So now it’s your turn to figure it out! Grab your partner…Get out there, and get naked!…Just not in public because I don’t want anyone arrested.

Following me on social media? If you’re not…YOU SHOULD BE!

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The Kiss List

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Now we all know the obvious answer to this, but there are more benefits to kissing than just getting you hot and bothered.

Some even say that the way their partner kisses can be a serious make or break in their relationship…YIKES! The thought of sharing such a vulnerable moment with someone special can make you feel many different ways…

Some feel like they are part of a love story… while the rest may feel like a bundle of nerves.

Thankfully kissing has some awesome health benefits, and if you have been kissed, then you fall into one or more of these smooch worthy categories:


Hopefully you are already happy with your date/girlfriend/boyfriend. A plus is your body’s chemical response to kissing that special someone. The response is the same as the boost you get after a good workout. That is some serious couple’s therapy!


Fun Fact: 66% of the population turn tilt their head to the right when they kiss…
You can stop tilting your head now.

burns calories

Not only is kissing a mood lifter and great way to display affection… It’s a great mini workout! During a heated make out session you can burn 6.4 calories per minute.

 That’s something you don’t think about everyday.

This does not mean you need to skip your cardio session to go snuggle up, but it’s definitely a plus that gets your heart racing!

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Ladies!! We constantly hunt for the almighty quick fix for that time of the month. Cramps can ruin any and everything. When you are emotionally connected to your partner many things can happen, but did you know that your sweetheart could be your personal pain-killer? Ever heard of a hormone called Oxytocin? It has even been called the “Love Hormone” or “Cupid’s Arrow”.

Fun Fact: This hormone has been directly linked with sexual pleasure, and is released during an orgasm.